Middle School Morons
by TheWebbz
Summary: Cena Cliques? Pipe Bombs during Math Class? DX Teaching Gym? It could only happen when your favorite WWE Superstars and Divas hit the books...


**Middle School Morons**

**Principal: Mr. McMahon Vice-Principal: Mr. Laurinaitis Secretary: Ms. Stratus**

**Classes: Grade 8, Mrs. McMahon-Helmsley (Math/Science); Grade 7, Mr. Long (English); Gym, Mr. Helmsley/Mr. Micheals; Geography/History, Mr. Cole; Music, Mr. Austin; Art/Drama, Ms. Guerrero; Janitors/Volunteers, Mr. Lawler, Mr. Ross, Mr. Booker, Mr. Mathews**

**Students: Grade 7, SmackDown (Classes may be different in flashbacks)**

**Class President: Mark Henry**

**Christian**

**Cody Rhodes**

**Sin Cara**

**Kane**

**Natalya**

**Randy Orton**

**Sheamus**

**Khali**

**Layla**

**Hornswoggle**

**Wade Barrett**

**Ezekiel Jackson**

**Aksana**

**A.J**

**Edge**

**Undertaker**

**John Morrison**

**Alicia Fox**

**Grade 8, Raw**

**Class President: Alberto Del Rio**

**John Cena**

**CM Punk**

**Big Show**

**Alex Riley**

**Beth Phoenix**

**Dolph Ziggler**

**Kofi Kingston**

**Evan Bourne**

**David Otunga**

**Zack Ryder**

**Kelly Kelly**

**Ricardo Rodriguez**

**Jack Swagger**

**Kharma**

**Miz**

**R-Truth**

**Eve**

**Rey Mysterio**

**Chris Jericho**

**Chapter 1**

**Entry, 9:00-9:10am**

Zack Ryder stood near the door to the school. He could hear Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger talking.

"Ya know that kid, Zack Ryder?", Swagger whispered, with a heavy lisp.

"The one who thinks he's so cool?", Ziggler whispered back, smugly.

Zack rolled his eyes. He was a million times cooler than _Swagger_, and Dolph looked a million times geekier just standing beside Swagger.

"Yeah, I heard he's dating Kharma...", they both howled.

_Lies._

"Woo woo woo! You know it!", Ziggler sputtered out.

Zack walked towards them.

"Whoops, Geek alert!", Swagger yelled.

"You two look like idiots...Seriously. There's Andre Jr, and _Dolph Ziggler..._What a stupid name, Dolph...", Zack retorted.

"You don't EVER make fun of perfection!". Dolph shouted.

"Yeah!", Swagger added.

Zack snorted.

"What? Will you tell _Vickie _if I do?".

Jack giggled, Dolph was glaring at Ryder.

"Oh, trust me, with that guy around", Zack pointed at Swagger. "You're less than perfection...".

Dolph and Jack was about to lunge at Zack when the entry bell rang.

"See ya, broskis!", he yelled, booking it into the school. Swagger and Ziggler chased after him.

…

Chris Jericho and the Miz were leaning on the fence. Mark Henry walked by.

"HEY! OH HENRY!", Jericho called.

Miz was laughing his head off.

Mark walked towards them, his shadow covered the two.

"I'M THE FORMER UNDISPUTED CLASS PRESIDENT!", Jericho bragged.

Mark glared at him.

"And the first former undisputed class president to be inducted into the hall of pain...", he clenched his fists.

Miz and Jericho pulled two metal rulers out of their backpacks. They smacked their rulers on their palms of their hands, glaring at the Worlds Strongest Boy.

"Really? You think two little rulers can stop me?", Mark said.

"Let's just test that out!", Miz replied.

Miz whacked Mark with his ruler, and then Jericho did the Codebreaker. Miz took advantage of Henry's weakness and hit the Skull Crushing Finale.

Mr. Cole noticed the commotion. He walked over, and tried to split them up.

"Whoa! Split it up, your gonna get in trou...", Jericho and Miz combined their finishers and did the Code Breaking Finale on Cole.

Mark Henry got up and World's Strongest Slammed Cole.

There was a circle of students around them. They were all cheering. Some of them were chanting "Fight!", others were chanting "Shut up, Mr. Cole".

The bell rang.

"AWWWW", Everyone groaned.

**Period 1**

**Raw: Math**

**SmackDown: English**

Kofi Kingston and his friend Evan Bourne were walking to their advisor class. Suddenly a large crowd of students formed in the hall.

Evan groaned.

"Road-block Cena...".

Sure enough, John Cena was in the middle of it.

"He's like a black hole...everyone around him is sucked into his "coolness"..." Kofi rolled his eyes.

Miz stood there.

"THAT SHOULD BE ME IN THE CENTER OF ATTENTION! I SHOULD BE THE MOST POPULAR KID IN SCHOOL!", He whined.

David Otunga walked towards Kofi and Evan.

"Gosh, the idiot circle returns...I haven't seen Cena since June, how are you guys?", he asked.

"Since when did you like us?", Evan asked, harshly.

Otunga huffed.

"I was just asking...".

The classroom door opened, and Mrs. McMahon-Helmsley walked out.

"GRADE EIGHTS! I need a straight line in front of my door!".

All the 8th graders grumbled and lined up.

"I never missed her...Is she our advisor?", Kofi asked Otunga.

He nodded.

"Dammit!", Alex Riley said, who was behind the three. "I HATE her, she's such a...".

Mrs. McMahon glared at him.

"Beautiful woman!", he grinned.

"WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR! TO SEE SANTA CLAUS? LET'S GO!", Miz yelled from the back of the line.

Everyone stared at him. Miz turned around.

"What are you looking at!".

The students were let in.

Everybody else was in their seats when Jericho walked in. He was walking in slo-mo and was wearing cool shades.

"No shades! Sit down!", Mrs. McMahon shouted.

"I am your advisor and your Math and Science teacher. My name is Mrs. McMahon-Helmsley, but you can call me Mrs. McMahon. Today we'll kick off with Math. What's 10 to the power of 10?".

CM Punk raised his hand.

"It equals to your pants size, Miss.".

…

Edge walked into the classroom and sat down. His BFF Christian was in the seat beside him.

"Edge! I thought you moved!", Christian said surprised.

Edge shrugged. He looked around.

"Look at the pancake house we're in this year, There's the midget, the albino, the giant Indian dude, the dead guy, his brother...". All the people he said glared at him. Khali and the Undertaker stood up.

Mr. Long looked up.

"No Tombstones, Last Rides, Chokeslams, Vise Grips, Khali Chops, Brogue Kicks, High Crosses or Tadpole Splashes, folks.".

Everyone groaned.

"I'm making up a new club, wanna be in it?", Christian asked Edge.

"What's it called? The One More Chance Club?", Edge replied sarcastically.

"No, not at all.".

Edge sighed.

"Fine...".

Mr. Long walked toward Edge.

"Would you take the attendance down, playa?".

"Sure...Maybe I'll meet some new people...and Spear them!", Edge said happily, taking the attendance. He walked out of the room when Mr. Long started the lesson.

"Okay, I'll start easy...What is a verb?".

"A WORD!", Kelly Kelly said, proudly.

"You got to be kidding me...", Mr. Long muttered.

"Idiot...", Kane muttered.

…

Edge walked into the office. He saw CM Punk sitting in a seat. He put the attendance in the bin and sat down.

"What happened to you?", Edge asked.

"I called Mrs. McMahon fat.", Punk smirked.

"Wow, I thought I would be in the office first. You and your pipe bomb did the trick. Congrads Reekazoid!", Edge patted Punk on the back.

Christian texted Edge.

"I gotta answer this...".

Punk shrugged.

The text read: R group meeting is this recess

Edge texted back: How R U allowed to txt in class.

He got another text: Hes not.

Mr. Long walked into the office with Christian and his phone. Edge and Punk waved.

"Stupid ringtone...", Christian muttered.

The phone rang.

(I can not tell you the lyrics to the song because it's so vulgar)

Everyone plugged their ears.

Vice-Principal Laurinaitis took the phone and locked it in the cupboard.

"Come back at the end of the day...".

Mr. Long dragged Christian out, and yelled at Edge.

"Get back to class!".

Mr. Laurinaitis walked up.

"Punk, Office.".

Edge fast-walked away.

**Period 2**

**Both Classes: Gym**

All the kids were sitting in their squads. The two Gym teachers were talking.

"Hello, classes. I'm Mr. Helmsley….", Mr. H started.

"Are you Mrs. McMahon's husband?", Interrupted Alex Riley.

"Yeah? What?".

"She's a...".

Mr. Micheals Sweet Chin Musiced Riley.

"Any more interruptions?", he asked.

Everyone shook their heads.

"Okay, before we start, we have two words for you...", Mr. H continued.

"I AM ALBERRRRRTO DEL RRRRIOOO!", Alberto Del Rio and his brother Ricardo Rodriguez rode into the gym on a fancy Harley.

Jericho whipped a shoe at them. And then everybody else joined him. The bike fell over and the two were trapped.

"Help! Mes amigos!".

"How did McMahon let those kids in with a Harley?", Mr. Micheals whispered to Mr. H.

"Ask Jericho to join my club?", Christian asked Edge.

"Do it yourself...".Edge replied. Jericho overheard the conversation.

"Sure, I'll join your club, as long as you let my buddy Miz in.", he replied

"Deal". Christian said.

"Okay, Anyhow, let's start a game of dodgeball...", Mr. Micheals announced.

John Morrison put up his hand.

"Mr. H, What are the two words you were gonna say?".

Everybody giggled.

"Well, I was gonna say...SUCK IT!", Mr. H yelled.

Mr. Micheals blew his whistle. Kane picked up a basketball and whipped it at Riley's head.

"I WON!".

"No, I WON!", Mr. H picked up the ball and whipped it at Kane. He caught it and squeezed it until it popped, and whipped the flat ball at Kelly.

"HEY!".

Beth Phoenix picked up a soccer ball and whipped it at Kelly's face.

"Why aren't we using dodgeballs?", Jericho asked.

Mr. Micheals shrugged. "I didn't make up the rules.".

…

Punk sat in the principal's office. Mr. McMahon glared at him.

"Ya know, Punk, I never really liked you".

Punk shrugged.

"Your attitude, I'm not surprised you've been sent here. What did you do?".

"I DID give Mrs. McMahon an answer...And it wasn't that far off. You should know that her pants size is off the charts!", Punk said, coolly.

Mr. McMahon groaned.

"Figures...Look, One more chance, If I see you here again, there's dire consequences. Get it?".

"Yeah, sure.", Punk got up and left the office.

**Period 3**

**Raw: Computers (English)**

**SmackDown: Art/Drama**

Edge walked into the Drama Room with Randy Orton. Some of the other kids were already there. Layla was talking to Ms. Guerrero.

"You've got to be kidding me! Ms. Guerrero is the Drama teacher! I was hoping she got fired or pushed off a cliff during the summer.", Edge mused.

Randy shrugged. "Everybody wishes that. Even the teachers.".

"No kidding.".

"I wonder why everyone thinks you're a big jerk. I always liked you.", Layla said to Ms. Guerrero.

"I don't know...", Ms. G replied.

Edge whipped a book at her. Sheamus howled and started talking about Irish stuff. Ezekiel Jackson was flexing his arms and Cody Rhodes was putting paper bags over people's heads.

"Excuse me."

Everybody ignored Ms. Guerrero.

"Excuse me!".

Edge and Morrisson whipped books at her.

"EXCUSE ME!".

Half the class quieted down.

Ms. G groaned.

"Everybody get in a circle!".

Some of the kids got into a circle.

"Okay, today we are...".

"Can I go to the washroom?", Randy asked.

"Okay. Now as I was saying...".

"Me. Go. Pee", Khali said.

"Fine, Anyhow...".

"Can I throw books at you?", Christian asked.

"NO! Now let's get on with the...". Ms. G continued.

Christian whipped the book at her. She growled.

"STOP DOING THAT!", She yelled.

"Can I use the washroom?".

"NOBODY IS USING THE WASHROOM!".

Everybody started chatting.

"EXCUSE ME!".

…

"Okay, When you get on the computers, log onto 982 Guest 3. There will be a survey you have to fill out. Be honest in your answers...". Mr. Long opened the door. All the 8th grader pushed him aside. He shrugged and sat at the teachers computer.

Kelly Kelly logged onto her computer and opened the survey.

Question #1: What's your name?

"Duh", Kelly typed her name in. kele kele, she spelled.

Mr. Long looked at Miz's computer. He was playing Happy Wheels.

"Stay on topic", he told Miz. Miz rolled his eyes.

Question #2: What Grade are you in?

CM Punk put in "Kindergarten".

John Cena put in "U Can't C Me".

Question #3: What are you planning on doing in school?

"It is my destiny to become Student President", Alberto typed in. Ricardo followed suit.

Question #4: What is your favorite subject?

"Destruction", Kane put down. Big Show nudged him.

"Wrong class, aren't you in Drama?",

Kane glared at him.

Show stepped back. "Just asking...".

Question #5: What classes do you excell at?

"Everything, including things I've never done. Except for English", Swagger put down.

"I am perfection", Dolph wrote.

Question #6: What do you think about bullies?

"Whoever calls me fat gets pounded", Kharma wrote.

"Those Little Jimmies can abide by two words...", R-Truth typed.

"Suck it!", Mr. H typed. He was helping out Kelly.

The bell rang. Everybody logged out and left. A-Ry flicked Mr. Long in the head.

"Very mature...".

Suddenly the lights went out. His computer screen went black.

"What the...". Mr. L could feel breathing down his spine. He spun around and faced the cold eyes of The Undertaker.

"Uh, Hi...".

**Okay, Chapter 2 will kick off with Lunch. There is 5 Periods in a day. Gator2000 plays the parts of The Miz, Chris Jericho, Kane and Christian. I have some great ideas for upcoming parts, I just wanted to publish this story to see how it works out. Please review!**


End file.
